


Awake

by brightingales (zoeteniets)



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Hospitals, Love Confessions, M/M, Storms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 02:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16031249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeteniets/pseuds/brightingales
Summary: Based only on speculation and my own desperate wishes. Harry is hospitalised during the storm. When he wakes up, the man he loves is by his side.





	Awake

 

Harry can tell he’s in a hospital; the sterile smell has permeated his brain even in sleep. He can hear the sound of a heart monitor beeping steadily somewhere far away. The sheets he is wrapped in are cheap and thin- so unlike the rich cotton of the bedding he had woken up in the morning before.

Of course, he’d not bothered to think about the thread count of the sheets then. He’d been too busy snuggling into James’s arms, trying not to think about how it might be the last time he was allowed such a luxury.

Christ! How could he have been so stupid?

It takes a lot of effort, but finally, he opens his eyes. Everything is blurry for a moment and Harry wonders if he should enjoy this last second of not having to face up to what he’s done. But his vision clears. And there, he sees him. The man he loves.

James is hovering by the door as if he is afraid to come any further inside. He’s wearing the same stern expression that does has on difficult days in court. He stands ramrod straight, eyes fixed on Harry. James is like a statue- tall and impressive and utterly unmoved. All Harry can do is hope he can break the façade. He doesn’t know how he’ll cope if James is cool to him now when he needs him the most. He wishes that he could reach out and touch him and smooth away the lines of worry that no one else can see creasing at his eyes. He needs James to hold him, to let him know that all is forgiven, to caress him like he still cares for him even after Harry has broken his heart so terribly.  

“James,” he chokes, all his desire rising in his throat and stopping the rest of his words before they can form.

In an instant, James crumbles. Where there once stood the picture of impassivity now stands a man who looks utterly broken. The mask drops, all the colour drains from James’s face, and suddenly the dishevelled clothes, unkempt hair, and lack of sleep become visible. He leaves the safe corner of the room and rushes to Harry’s side, flinging himself onto the bed and cupping Harry’s face in his massive, warm hands.

“Please,” Harry manages. It is a relief when James finally kisses him, softly, as if he’s afraid that one sudden movement will shatter Harry like glass under him.

When they break apart they both have tears in their eyes.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” James says, completely serious.

“What? Marry someone else?” It’s meant to be a joke, but it just ends up tearing at the wound in his heart.

James shakes his head. “No. I mean nearly die on me, Harry. If I lost you… like that… I couldn’t…”

“Hey,” Harry says, squeezing James’s hand where it’s tangled in the scratchy bedsheets. “You won’t. You won’t lose me, James. I did something stupid, but I know that now.”

He reaches up and touches the cut on James’s forehead. It’s been bandaged but he can see blood seeping through already. It will leave a scar. Harry moves his hand to the back of James’s head, toys with the course hair now so familiar to him and pulls him in as close as possible. Their foreheads rest together and Harry relaxes for a moment in the feeling of having James so near and so tangible.

But it cannot last.

“Where’s Ste?” Harry asks, unable to avoid the inevitable any longer.

“He’s in a different ward,” James tells him, quickly adding, “he’s fine. Mostly. The tree that hit you also clipped his arm. Broke it in a few places. And they kept him in for observation.”

“I’ll have to go see him…” Harry says.

James looks away for a moment, “What are… what are you going to tell him?”

“The truth. He’s guessed enough of it, I’m sure. But I have to tell him. That it’s over. That I lied to him. That I love you.”

When James looks back at him his eyes are wide with hope. And there, right in that second, Harry can see their whole future together reflected back at him. Messy and hard and passionate and honest. All he’s ever wanted.

“You do?” James’s voice cracks under the weight of hope.

Harry leans in and kisses him once more, “I do.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @brightingales on tumblr. I really don't have anything better to do with my evenings...


End file.
